About my life with the thrill kill condition..

HS came about in my mid to late teens. At that age I had just scored my first big job and was feeling pretty good about my life and chances in the world until HS struck. First it developed as a single abscess which lasted for weeks until one night at a party I could no longer hide the painful effects and concerned friends rushed me to the ER where I was lanced.

Before that I attended Palm Beach County School for the Performing Arts for High School. I did a stop motion animation for my final. Not realizing that I was truly capable of such a level of sophistication at that age I was kicked out and was later apologized to by one of the deans during that time. After leaving SoA I dropped out of school to pursue a career in graphic design starting with an agency in South Florida.

By the age of twenty-one I had worn many hats in the industry and rose to managerial positions while working on first generation websites, early digital video production, 3D animation when we measured rendering in frames per week, not per second and was fortunate enough to have travelled the country trying to enjoy life between flareups which at the time I thought were a "once in a lifetime strange occurence" that was starting to get ridiculous with the revisitations.

Each year I would build momentum toward my goals only to be deflated by another HS flare up. First on one side then the other, back and forth, with less and less space in between, until they finally began to overlap. As my disease progressed I retreated ever more in to my life of solitude; My safe haven where I battled with depression and frequent visits to the doctor's offices. I desperately searched for answers to "what was wrong with me", to no avail.

At twenty I started to teach 3D animation and web-design at a technical institute in Palm Beach County where I met many great individuals both as students and my peers. Teaching I found to be rewarding and during this period I taught City Council Members, TV News Anchor Ric Blackwell and even held multiple seminars for the Miami Dolphins coaches and staff. After a serious flareup I could no longer hold a stable job and with ever increasing financial problems; HS finally derailed me once and for all at the ripe old age of twenty-four.

I've heard it all, "in-grown hair", "deodorant allergy", "general allergies", "insinuations regarding my personal hygeine", and "it's all in my head" being my all time favorite. Finally I found my answers in the least likely of places.. through a friend who just happened to have the same thing as me, CJ, who I met playing an online game, while retreating from the world, called Anarchy-Online. Thanks to him I was armed with the right questions and I visited a dermatologist who was able to confirm that yes I had HS and then the real battle began.

Knowing the name of something is somewhat of a relief.. until you get the punch-line.. No this is not treatable, no there is not a cure, there is barely even any research being done on it. Sorry being the final answer of today's medicine.

I emotionally spiraled downward, my life slipping through my fingers as HS and also unknown at the time, MS (Multiple Sclerosis) began to overwhelm me. I eventually found the artwork of Norris Nuvo and a great group of people in Yahoo/Facebook who have helped me through so many dark days which at a time came dangerously close to suicide..

Since then I've survived through the aid of friends and family giving me a place to stay or helping cover bills. Since I embarked on this journey of discovering HS alone I've stayed that way. It seemed the most fair thing to do. At first I didn't know what I had but out of fear of giving it to someone I loved I took myself off the dating market. Having learned it is not something I can transmit I have as of yet left little room for romance in my life. You have to love yourself before you can truly love another. I'm working on that one still.. Maybe some day I will be ready when the right person comes along. Either way I have found my resolve and with this mission in my heart I will not give up hope. I really want to believe that a cure or at least a treatment will be found within my lifetime... and maybe just maybe my humble story and meager scribbles might aid that cause.

Alaric,
~~~{~~{@